You ever seen sex in movies? Lots of neck kissing. Lots of billowing net curtains. Rose petals come out of nowhere and flutter through the air. Plus they do a lot of fucking in lifts, and so to that end he jammed the emergency stop button in the elevator they were travelling in and did it Benecio…
The following songs are from Go to the Shops, my seminal 2004 album. The first song - Go to the Shops - deals with going to the shops.
Go to the Shops
Go to the shops, buy some things at them
Go to the shops, buy lots of things
If you need stuff, shops might have them
Go to the shops, don’t be afraid
Shucks, when I was a boy, an apple was a fruit you ate. I guess it still is, in a way. (It’s also a computer too though.) My, my, I remember the days when the only time you’d hear ‘iphone’ was at the beginning of the sentence, “I phone my grandmother every day.” I remember when you ‘burned music’ for someone because rock-and-roll records are a tool of Satan and must be destroyed. I remember when ‘kindle’ was what you’d do in order to start a fire to burn rock-and-roll records on. I remember when the Simpsons were just a family I knew called the Simpsons. I remember when ‘will and grace’ was all a man needed to accomplish a great deed. (You need a strong will but also the grace of God.) Oh and ‘queer’ meant you felt funny; that’s a good one. Can’t believe I nearly forgot that one! I remember when ‘you tube’ was a tube you owned I guess. I remember when if you saw a coloured boy on the street you could just beat the hell outta that boy and he’d smile one of them big ol’ smiles and say, “Thank you kindly, sir,” and he’d keep walking to his church and I’d keep walking to mine and nobody felt the need to make a fuss about it. And then one morning we all woke up and somebody had made one President. Well I don’t know what the hell is going on. No siree I don’t. But I sure as heckfire know who to blame. Let me tell you.
this is the real first page of a real book by a real Fox News host
Amazing. Amazing. I will never be able to write satire as good as the real thing, and it kills me inside.
I kind of hope this was ghostwritten by someone less insane; I hope they had a blast.
My favourite bit is the dirty dancing bit because he got to the end of the sentence and realised he’d have to use ‘dance’ twice and sat there for twenty minutes going, “There’s got to be another way of saying ‘square dance’,” and there is but it’s ‘barn dance’ which is even clumsier, and he sat there for ages doing that and eventually gave up. He did a big sigh and if it was a ghostwriter he went, “It’s not worth it; who cares,” but if it was the real guy he went, “No, that’s good. That’s… that sounds good. Sounds honest. This is good.”
If you’re interested, google turned up a few useful review-y things:
- natto soup: Marvy Le Plume vs Copic Sketch
- natto soup: Marvy Le Plume vs Neopiko-2
- Archonia: Neopiko-2 vs Copic Ciao
- a forum thread on alcohol-based markers; some useful bits
- Markers Guild: Neopiko-2
- Markers Guild: Copic (general; all types)
- Markers Guild: Marvy Le Plume
But I still wanna hear from marker users. Are you one? Hello there!
Marker-users of Tumblr! I would appreciate your advice.
Only a few years ago, if you wanted to buy markers, your options were Copic, Copic Sketch, and a few other brands just as expensive as Copic but not nearly as good.
But browsing art shops in Japan lately, it seems like there are now some fairly serious alternatives available, all of which are a little smaller than your traditional Copic, but much less expensive and targeted very much at the same users (ie. cartoonists).
The three I’ve seen, from least expensive to most, are Marvy Le Plume (135 yen each, plus tax, at my nearest shop), Deleter Neopiko-2 (189 yen; these appear to have refills available too) and Copic Ciao (225 or 243 yen; the sign was a little confusing).
I’ve got the urge to try using markers again, and if I can learn a little more about these new types without having to buy a handful of each, that would be very helpful.
So if you’ve used any of these brush markers — Le Plume, Neopiko-2, or Ciao…
- How are they?
- How do they compare to Copic Sketch markers and the like?
- Have you used more than one of these new brands? How do they compare? Have you used them together?
- Do they run out too quickly?
- About the Copic Ciao markers: can you use normal Copic refills with them?
And so on. I’m especially interested to hear about the Le Plume, because it’s so cheap, but unlike Deleter and Copic I’ve never heard of Marvy and don’t know if their stuff is any dang good or what.
Thanks in advance for anything you’d care to share with me! Also for any reblogs you might make in the direction of your marker-using followers.
Now here’s a question mark so Tumblr will let me check that ‘Let people answer this’ box: ?
|—||either someone universally admired, or someone you’ve never heard of and if you look them up you feel guilty about not having heard of them because they have Done Important Work|
Next time you’re about to admonish someone for some ignorant and offensive thing they said or implied, place your palms on the desk on either side of your keyboard for a few moments and ask yourself,
"Is it possible that I am not actually smarter than everyone else? Is it possible that there are others who know about and understand things, just as I do? Or perhaps even… moreso?
"Is it possible that I have misunderstood?"
In some circumstances, another valuable question might be,
"If I, a clever and right person, wrote what this person wrote, what would I mean by it?"
From time to time, you might save yourself (and possibly others) time and energy better spent elsewhere.
A report on the upcoming changes to the Racial Discrimination Act by David’s little brother Tristian.
Go to the Attorney-General’s site if you’d like to submit an opinion on the proposed amendments.
If you don’t read Tristian Blumenstein’s school assignments, you’re a scrub. (It’s bad to be a scrub.)
Selected images from We R So Diverse by renowned photographer René Perenieaux, available from Random House.
These deserve more reblogs. Ben, next time do one of Benedict Cumberbatch and write something underneath about an important issue like the otherisation-by-feminisation of poodles and how this gender bigotry contributes to the oppression of poodle-identifying otherkin.